Subject: I cut him off and he stopped asking
Dear Steve and Shirley, Iâm married to a very stubborn man and out of 8 years of marriage, heâs ignored me for most of that time. Iâm a charge nurse and I have been really stressed out lately, as you can imagine. I come home to my husband and I expect him to listen to me vent and console me, but instead he has his head in his phone and he tunes me out. I have asked him to do favors for me or pick up groceries and dry cleaning and he will lie and say he will do it and when I ask him about it, he either says he doesnât remember agreeing to do it or he will say he didnât have time to. I got so fed up with him, that I stopped talking to him. He didnât care because I was still having sex with him so I could unwind at night. I realized he was enjoying the sex and didnât have to deal with my mouth, so I cut the sex off and he eventually started talking to me and paying attention to what I had to say. I played that game with him whenever I got really irritated with him. Back in May, I had a colonoscopy and he took me for the procedure and left me there. I had to be put into a holding room because the nurse couldnât find him. He eventually came to pick me up and that was it for me. Iâd had enough of him, so I went back to ignoring him. He apologized and begged me for sex for the first 3 weeks and then he stopped. He seemed to be okay without sex and his mood changed. He let me vent to him and he started helping me out around the house. I tried to reward him for good behavior with sex and he turned me away. Iâm not sure if what heâs up to, but he will not have sex with me now. Has my ignoring game backfired? Whatâs up with him?